


overcoming

by sugacandy



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 20:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12712773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugacandy/pseuds/sugacandy
Summary: First the fever, then the fall; Yuzuru wonders if anything will ever come easy to him.





	overcoming

NHK hasn’t even begun, and it’s already gone wrong.

Yuzuru can’t help but wonder, as he sits on the hard mattress of his hotel room bed, right foot propped up on a mound of cushions and swathed in ice packs, if anything will ever come easy to him. First it had been the fever, low enough to keep him lucid, but high enough to knock him off-kilter for the next few days – then it was the fall, his heart lurching as the ice rushed up to meet him.

_ Not again, _ he’d thought, half-skating, half-limping back to the boards _. Why now, why at all. _ But beyond the frustration, beyond the pain, had lain a stone-cold layer of fear; fear that it would all be for nothing, that he really would just come full circle and spend the next few months on stuttering, clumsy singles while everything slipped out of reach.

Thankfully, he reminds himself,  _ thankfully, _ it’s not as serious as it could have been, although no-one seems to know what the long-term effects will be. But it’s difficult, it’s really fucking difficult to be thankful for anything at all right now, to be anything other than miserable when he’s lying here with no prospect of competition and the dull ache working its way into his joints.

It’s only later that he gives in and calls the only person who’ll listen to him without pity.

‘Yuzu.’ Javi’s voice crackles down the phone, tired and patient and concerned, and Yuzuru has to bite back a sob. ‘You’re withdrawing.’

They haven’t confirmed anything yet, but Javi still phrases his question like it’s a fact. And he’s right, of course – Yuzuru wouldn’t be calling, not like this, before a competition.

‘Yes,’ he croaks. ‘They will announce soon.’ His voice comes out ragged around the edges.

‘Oh, Yuzu,’ Javi murmurs. ‘How bad is it?’

‘Don’t know, yet.’ He pauses. ‘Not good. Not terrible, either. I tried…to force landing for quad lutz. I was stupid.’

‘That’s not true. Maybe you shouldn’t have tried to force it, but stuff like this can happen to anyone. It’s not your fault.’

Javi’s tone is nothing but soft, nothing but the comfort Yuzuru desperately needs, but he’s just so  _ angry _ at it all that he can’t bring himself to relax. He breathes in, out again, kneading the sheets in clenched fists to do something to relieve the strain.

‘Yuzu?’

‘It so  _ unfair _ , Javi,’ he chokes out, screwing up his eyes as he feels the tears coming again. ‘I’m tired of injury, I just want to skate, but I am hurt always, and now I can’t do anything…’

He’s full-on sobbing now, big, heaving, ugly cries that rip themselves out of his throat. He knows, somewhere in the back of his mind, that Javi probably doesn’t want to listen to his noise; but instead of putting the phone down like a normal human being, he just clutches it closer to his face, as if the earth itself will move and bring Javi nearer in turn.

It’s stupid, really, but as Javi’s breaths crackle down the line, mixed with reassurances and pet names, he feels like he can finally breathe through the tears.

‘You’re the strongest person I know. You’ll be okay, you’ll always be okay in the end, Yuzu,’ Javi says, and Yuzuru smiles, still a little watery.

‘I will be okay,’ he repeats, and for the first time all day, he half-believes it. ‘I will be.’

‘That’s it. Now you’re getting it.’

Yuzuru sniffles. ‘You are always what I need when I am sad.’

‘You shouldn’t ever have to be sad,’ Javi replies, his tone suddenly so serious that Yuzuru doesn’t quite know how to answer.

‘I love you,’ is what he settles on, and he can almost hear the grin spreading across the other’s face. He doesn’t say it often, the foreign words still too heavy on his tongue, but he means it more than he could ever say aloud. ‘I miss you.’

‘I love you too, Yuzu,’ comes the reply, dependable as ever, but still just as fresh as the first time. ‘You’ll come back to Toronto soon, yeah?’

‘Soon. I will go to Sendai to see family first.’

Javi chuckles. ‘See? It’s not all bad. When you come home, we can watch the GPF together.’

‘Invite Patrick, too.’ Somehow, the image of three of the world’s top skaters huddled together in front of Javi’s TV is enough to make him giggle. ‘We can have our own party.’

‘I’ll start planning,’ Javi snorts, and they’re both laughing down the phone, senses of humour perhaps knocked a little askew after the drama of the last 24 hours.

Glancing at the clock, Yuzuru realises that he’s only got half an hour before he’s expected to make a statement about his condition. ‘I have to go now.’

‘Media?’

Yuzuru hums in confirmation. ‘I don’t want to.’

‘I know. Best to get it over with. But you’re Yuzuru Hanyu, and I know you, so don’t do anything crazy. Don’t overwork yourself. Try and stay in one piece till you get back.’

‘I will,’ Yuzuru promises, smiling softly. ‘Goodnight, Javi.’

‘Say hi to Saya for me.’

The line goes dead, and Yuzuru takes a deep breath, swinging his foot off its throne of cushions and eyeing the crutches leaning against the far wall.

_ I’ll be okay, _ he repeats to himself. He’s been injured before – too many times before, his mind interjects ruefully – but if he’s good at anything at all, he’s good at overcoming.

The old flame rekindles, and he hauls himself off the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> i had to jump on the angst fic bandwagon as a way to soothe my feelings after all that's been going on so far this season.  
> please leave a comment if you enjoyed!  
> [tumblr](https://sugacandy.tumblr.com)


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